Since I've Been Gone...

Ladies and gentlemen - your boy is back! I'm going to try my hardest not to make this long. Since I've been gone, I've been writing, as usual. Created a new TV show and am writing a short film which I hope to produce and direct as soon as possible. Am recording the second album, titled THE SECOND COMING still on Roc-A-Lot Records and I am working on yet another film which I am writing and directing for an independent studio.

Well, seems now you can understand why I haven't really been able to keep up with the blogging

On the personal front? Meeeen....so much has happened that I don't know where to begin. The summary? I have made immense emotional and pshycological progress on my seemingly unshakeable problem with intimacy. The update? had a relapse and I'm right back where I started. LOL!

Seen THE DARK KNIGHT yet? GO SEE IT! Seen WANTED? GO SEE IT! Seen KUNG FU PANDA - by now you get the picture...

Oddest thing here, is that in the midst of all my daily 'busy' - I STILL get hit by the whole 'What Am I doing with my life and Why?' syndrome odd huh?

Hmmm...

On another hand I'm going to be on 'Moments With Mo' sometime in September - LOL! I have a feeling its going to be thier highest rated episode yet. Why? 'Cos they got a bunch of writers up on the couch. Writers who all know each other. Oh, you're not aware? Writers are the most UNSTABLE breed there is? Don't believe me? Go check out exschoolnerd's blog - or ineffablewater or tejuola.blogspot.com or ...you get the picture...

Revenge Of The Tagged!

Okay, okay - I'll be the first to admit it. I took my sweet sweet time to get round to this. So I was tagged and now I drag myself to the hallowed blog spot and send out my dirty laundry into the cybervoid

The rules? I mention 6 quirks about yours truly and then tag 6 others. Okay here goes nothing -

THE QUIRKS

1. I really really really (have I mentioned really?) HATE absolutely EVERYTHING about great movies. I mean, I go see a great movie (Iron Man, Indy 4 and Saw come to mind) and I'm sitting there and the popcorn is slowly starting to taste like perfectly puffed kernels of horseshit and the drink might as well be fermented ogogoro with a dash of vodka and a twist. Great movies momentarily entertain me but ultimately depress me. Why? 'Cos I should have made them - oh, well they're already made. I should be making mine!!! - this leads to --

2. I push myself REALLY hard. I am my own worst critic. So much so that playa hating sort of bounces off me. You can't diss me as much as I do to myself so give it a rest. I expect so much from myself. Push myself towards such ridiculous standards that sometimes I fall into these deep dark dank depths of depression (how's that for alliteration folks?). In summary, I expect more from me than from anyone else

3. I have often been accused of throwing large words around. See number 2 above for the quote below;

'deep dark dank depths of depression (how's that for alliteration folks?). '

Now, to me I don't see the big grammer there, but someone looked over my shoulder as I was typing this and said - and I quote verbatim "Guy which way? Na dictionary you dey write?"

Go figure? It's enough to make a garrulous intro/extrovert like me take a vow of -, vow of -, wait let me check a dictionary for a big enough word to fit in there

4. I am an incurable romantic. Through and through. Sure I've become a bit jaded, a bit cynical. But I am still a romantic. I have no idea why. Must be in my DNA somewhere, but I think any woman who makes your heart skip a beat is worth making a fool of ones self over. Okay, before you start getting ready to barf and expect me to change my color scheme here to pink with kittens, ribbons and hearts, there's -

5. I am a polygamist at heart. Contradictory right? Look at it this way, Fundamentally? I really marvel at the general consensus that one man = one woman. I think it's hard wired into the male DNA to have multiple sexual partners. Here's where I differ from the whole 'men are meant to shag as many as they may' argument. I just believe that when I find that woman I am totally willing to walk on water for? Then by all means I shall forsake all others. But until then? I see no reason why any man should lie about having multiple partners

But where I really draw the ire of a lot of people. I have found no reason why there is something wrong with one man or one woman having feelings for more than one person at a time. I believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time

That being said, the funny part? I don't have multiple partners, and I am not in love with one not to talk of two people, so what the hell am I talking about?

6. I love a good myth-arc or story line/arc/world of mythological depth and proportion. In other words, I am a geeky nerd who just loves it when someone creates another dimension of such superficially ridiculous mettle, but such rich metaphorical depth that we find ourselves inexplicably drawn to the need to live there. Star Wars, Lord Of The Rings, Naruto, Bleach, Neon Genesis Evangelion, 24, Lost - these stories that go beyond...I have no word for it. These words fail me as to how to describe what I feel about the ability to create another world so attractive that millions the world over chose to live in it...it's been my dream since I was a mere baby...it's the only reason I get out of bed

So there's my 6. Maybe they're not personal enough, but they're quirks to me. As to who I'll tag? Watch this space...

Victor Sanchez Aghahowa

To My Friends

Just realized something. I am not a very good friend. I am a rather cold fish and I never fully appreciate the people around me

For that I am terribly sorry

To all the friends I've lost through my seeming lack of care or emotion. To all those who stick by me. To all those who would love to stick around but I make it impossible to...

I am so sorry

To my twin - please forgive me

How I Met My Future

Okay, call me what you will - but here I'm giving a lung wracking shout out to the last truly great traditional 3 Camera, laugh track having sitcom left on the planet

How many of you have laid eyes on the truly awesome glory that is the show "How I met your mother'? You havent? TRAVESTY!!!! The DVD's are out there - run don't walk -

"You call that a - at best that's a trot - do you hear me soldier? RUN!!!"

- and get the first two seasons. You won't regret it. If you do, send them back to me, I'll buy them off your hands at double the market price

Back to the other main issue - WHATS UP PEOPLE? Been gone for a minute - sorry, having ANOTHER mid life crises (at 26, WOW!) and been immersing myself in work to get out of it

But more importantly have been watching and rewatching Craig Thomas' and Carter Bays' immortal gift to the world. The sitcom 'How I met your mother'. Okay enough with the shameless plugging - maybe I need to explain

I started out writing and directing comedy on stage, all of it being a stepping stone in my mind for what I really wanted to do. But at the same time never dared to openely voice - create, write and direct my own sitcom

A few years in Nollywood quickly jaded me and I gave up the dream for lost - until recently. The upgrades and the advances in the game have suddenly made quite a few things possible

And then - I decided. What the hell? And I wrote a sitcom pilot a few weeks ago - trust me, it was crappy and far from pretty. But then it was a pilot, it was a sitcom and it was mine. Then I decided to do a little research and all the glowing praise on the NEt for HIMYM pushed me to get the DVD

The rest as they say is history. I'm following my oldest dream

In the weeks to come, I am going to be writing the first season of my sitcom. Wish me luck. Who knows I might even post the pilot script up here for your critique

But I havent been this excited in a long time. It feels like I am starting all over again. This is a stretch. Selling a asitcom in Nigeria? Punchlines, a laugh track that wont sound stupid? A studio shoot? unknown actors?a three camera setup?

It's a long shot? A stretch. A Hail Mary play.

Great. Just as I like it...

I'm dreaming again...


Victor Sanchez Aghahowa

The Question

The most common question i get asked is, what next? After Letters to a Stranger, what's next? What's the big follow up? what's your next movie?

Have no idea how to answer that one. Wish I did but I don't. Why not? Dunno, guess am just waiting for the chips to fall where they may

Odd huh? For someone who yells Be proactive! Don't react, don't wait for something to happen, MAKE it happen.

Guess after a while you learn that there are certain things that you control and others that are out of your hands

Am watching Heroes as this. After seeing Ugly Betty season 2. What would I really love to do? Create my own TV show. My own great great TV show

One that'll be so massive that people will happily wear the T-shirt while millions will download the screen savers. And after season one? I'll get a million emails asking for the premiere date for season 2.

That's what I want right now. That's the dream. It might not be what I get. But it's what am aiming at. Will I get it? Who knows right?

Hey, what are YOU aiming at?

Victor Sanchez Aghahowa

Once Again!

hello people! long time no see, by the way look at the comments on the last post. nigerians i hail o! once the topic is food we must show ourself! lol! but i appreciate all those who take the time to read this blog. and now for the news highlights. where have i been and what have i been up to? working working working...the same old same...what have YOU been up to? since i last posted up here i have said goodbye to the apprentice Africa. hello to another project, a soap opera by the way, details later...just popping in to say Hello!!!

Oh and by the way, have you ever gotten like REALLY depressed over stuff you think you should be doing as opposed to the normal yet everybody else thinks its great life that you have now?

Just asking...

EATERIES, MARGARET THATCHER AND AGEGE BREAD...

Today I am writing on a topic that most people will find decidedly odd,

Agege bread.

Makes no sense? Well at least not yet. For those of you who have never been to Lagos State and have never tasted this delicacy, I offer my condolences.

It is a very normal looking brick-shaped [as most of our local bread is shaped] of bread with a fan base numbering in tens [if not hundreds] of thousands and a taste that’s not only addictive but so rich that you just KNOW that it has to be bad for you [Indeed I heard about a year ago there was a big hullabaloo by health officials who said research had shown that it IS harmful, potassium bromate et al]

But why am I telling you about it? Why should you care? This began as a random thought – on marketing and a simple question

Why do loaves of bread have labels?

As to the larger size ‘family’ loaves I can think of a few reasons. Since they are usually whole family meals/breakfasts, there is a chance of brand loyalty – where a family can adopt one brand and stay with it [more out of convenience than loyalty really]

Also when traveling or intra-city commuting and a sweaty roadside hawker thrusts a loaf in your face unasked, [he must have a 6th sense that tells him you’re hungry] you can take a look at the label and in a haughty tone tell him that you don’t buy this brand – then sweeping a fast eye over the rest of his wares, you note a brand he doesn’t have and then loudly ask if he has that brand, and that it is the only one that you buy.

You see, that way you can turn him down, hide the fact that you’re broke and appear to have high taste in pastry all at the same time.

I’m not talking about the family loaves. I’m talking about those generic 30 naira bricks [and some, if not most, of them are as hard as bricks]

I decided to investigate. 100% of all respondents I interviewed said the same thing. Nobody reads those damn labels

So I took the questions to the bakers and the retailers. Answer = The labels are there to inspire loyalty between retailers and bakers. Does it work?

HA!

What’d did they expect? That we would all clamor for our favorite breakfast sawdust brick? And that the retailers who had to throw away a third of their stock daily would stay with them long enough to build a bond of any kind? Retailers tend to switch bakeries on the average of every three weeks.

And then there’s Agege bread. A veritable institution. A few days after I ingested my first loaf I was a hopeless addict. I mean it’s been discussed on NTA network shows. I have heard at least two songs ENTIRELY dedicated to its virtues AND seen an accompanying video on network TV. I’ve witnessed foreign exotic vehicles stop by the road side to buy the Big Powerful Oga in the back seat his daily fix...

Here’s a fun fact,

Agege bread has no label.

The point? You should have reached it by now. All the pizzazz, glamour and packaging in the world won’t build a brand for or save a product that is of low quality, no remarkability and has no value to offer

Forget the wrapping and trying to create perception. CREATE VALUE!

Yes sometimes value and pizzazz do go hand and hand, but sometimes value alone is enough...

That’s how institutions are born.

Let me tell you how NOT to build an institution. Go to the famous Allen Avenue, Ikeja Lagos State. Whirl around with your eyes closed and point to any building. There’s an 80/20 chance that you’re pointing at an eatery or clothing store.

Eatery 80%, Clothing store 20%

Doing what worked for ‘that guy’, or following an industry ‘standard’ is the worst thing that you can do. At best you simply become an unofficial brand extension of the pioneer.

Look at it this way; True or False all the eatery’s you’ve ever been in are all clones of each other?

See how ripe that market is for someone who is ‘label-less’ but with a menu that actually tastes like it’s worth the prices these clones charge? True, these eateries make money but in doing so they leave the REALLY big money right there on the table for some unknown to pick it up and walk away with it [basically what Bill Gates and Microsoft did to IBM and the ‘giants’ of their time, and Wal*Mart did to Sears and Co.]

If you REALLY want to talk cloning I have two words only to personify the ENTIRE trend.

Pure. Water.

Enough said.

So you have two choices. Spend a lot of money dressing up a monkey and try to pass him off as a woman, or dress up a teenager girl to pass for a grown woman...

Only one of them has a chance to really ever become one

And like Margaret Thatcher once famously said “Being a Leader is like being a Woman; if you have to tell people that you are, then you are definitely not one...”


Victor Sanchez Aghahowa